I know, it’s been a minute. I think the last time I actively wrote a post was last March! So much has happened since then and life has been life-ing, but typing on these keys feels so natural that I’m ready to pick up right where I left off. And what better way to come back to my creative community than with a piece of my magic! I’m so excited to announce I’m releasing my 3rd book this year, a SHADES Saga entitled: Love, Trauma and Healing: Poetry for the Broken Heart.
This right here is my baby!
Have you ever poured so much of yourself into something that it became real to you? Maybe a passion project, something you’re working on at home, something at work – if you can relate then you know what I mean when I say the poems in this book spoke back to me. This next book of poetry is special to me because I use this literary opportunity to create a space for trauma to live.
After having a miscarriage at 24 weeks last August, I went cold. I was so open about my pregnancy online and was so terrified/excited at the idea of being a mother but welcomed the idea with love. Unfortunately, I suffered from what doctors call “cervical incompetence” harsh ass name, no? lol Essentially my cervix was opening sooner than expected.. too soon, and in the midst of trying to keep the baby I also was coming down with an infection.. we had to make one of the hardest choices in my life.
So how do you recover from something like that? My partner and I went to counseling, took time away from people, I personally needed individual therapy as well, in addition to finding a community. It wasn’t until I went through this horrible process that I realized I wasn’t unique and in fact I found a cohort of women just like me. There’s something about knowing you’re not alone in the way you feel that makes going through whatever it is just a little bit easier. It was in taking these months of silence I began to heal, face my dark thoughts, and began writing.
It felt weird at first, trying to describe exactly what happened to B and I. It felt funny holding the pen, funny finding words; I was embarrassed to write what I was feeling because then it would bring me back to what I lost. But after weeks of battling with myself and trying to do things that made me feel alive, I sat down and wrote Noah, my almost born, a letter. From there, poetry started flowing out of me. Love. Trauma. Healing. There is space in us for all of it and I wanted to create something truly for my women, but something both men and women can pick up and feel safe reading. Safe knowing depression won’t last always and joy is attainable after dark days.
So I started writing. And going out a little bit, and buying a few new things to make me feel good. I started hanging with my friends again, and loving on my man unapologetically. I prayed so hard every day which should go without saying, but God has been and is a huge part of my journey and healing. If I didn’t stand with him in my dark time, I could have fallen for anything.
So where are we now? It’s one year later and Brandon and I are still madly in love. We both started new jobs/enhancing our careers. My manuscript is just about complete and waiting to be sent to editors while my artist crafts amazing illustrations to accompany the poems. I’m returning to the socials to start promoting the book launch and to reconnect with my community. My goal is to be a best selling author and I just want to share my magic and connect and empower as many Black women and people as I can. So I’ve started performing more spoken word/open mics – in fact join me Sep 10 + 11 at Nolan Park for the NYC Poetry Festival! I’ll be on the open mic!
ICYMI here’s a snippet of an event I performed at a few weeks ago: IMG_4833
I’m nervous and excited to come back after this time. I want to encourage more women to be open about the woes of pregnancy and empower more people to speak about the not so great moments of that process. I’ve come a long way, but I have so much farther to go. I still love the woman I’m becoming and can’t wait to see me flourish. This is big LEO energy okay. (lol I had to)
So I’m back ya’ll! Follow me on IG: @themajor.ki, on Twitter: @FashionJunkee_ and I’m @screamlovely on Snapchat if you’re still holding on to the filters like me lol
All updates and future shows will be live here on the site and I can’t wait to see what this next chapter brings. To everyone who’s been rocking with me, thank you. I have so much love for all of you! Let’s keep the major keys flowing!